You don’t really realize the impact someone coming into your life has on you until they are taken away, or something changes drastically that alters and shakes the very foundation from which your friendship stood on. They may be someone who you have just interacted with for only a couple of hours in a class, a work conference, or even as simple as running into someone you recognize on the street. I’m not sure if there is a reason why certain people come into our lives whilst others we wish would, never show their faces, but I do know that when someone does leave abruptly, it hurts.. a lot.
They say that you should live your life the way you want to, without regrets and without worries about how others see you. And that by living this way, people who really want to be apart of your life will find you, and they will make the effort to be apart of your life. This was a philosophy that I used on myself this past semester when the only 3 people I really knew at the University of Maryland were my three roommates-who happen to be good friends of mine. So I tried it out, not trying to fit a profile that others would like me to fit into but instead, I did what I enjoy and guess what?? People that accepted me for who I was and not for who they think I should be started to hang out with me. I’ve met some awesome people and I think that this is a great way to live your life, not worrying about meeting new people or trying to fit in, because at the end of the day you have to answer to yourself, and people will find you if they really want to be apart of your life.
Its great when you get to meet people and become friends with someone who you connect with greatly, someone who you can be yourself around and not worry about being judged or being too awkward. And whats even better, is when you’re not looking for it in the first place. Its really amazing how when you least expect it, someone can just come into you’re life without you having the slightest idea why or where they had been the rest of the time. It’s funny how things work out, that when you actively look for something it never seems to show up but when aren’t, what you were looking for before magically shows up without warning. And usually without you realizing what you have at the time. This happened to me over the summer actually with a girl I worked with. Everything can be going incredibly well and then suddenly that person can exit just as fast as they entered. It hurts.. a lot. especially when nothing really ever went wrong at all. But people change, they live their life, they experience new things, go to new places and you just have to accept them for who they are changing into. Because if you really want them to stay apart of your life, you’ll have to make an effort to keep them. We can’t stop change from coming but we can accept it, and deal with its consciousness the best we can. I’m not saying that accepting a friend, a family member, or a lover leaving or exiting your life will not hurt, because it most certainly does.. and it will hurt for a while and probably never stop hurting even though you have come to terms with it. But you can accept it, learn from it and change from it.
As I sit here all bundled up in my comfy armchair, drinking a hot cup of tea, it hurts me to think about the people that have come into my life and left a lasting mark on who I am as a person-most recently the girl I mentioned before. She doesn’t feel the same way as I do and it hurts, so very much. But I know I will get over it, and it will take time. But the one thing that you have to ask yourself is even though things didn’t turn out the way you had hoped, do you still want that person apart of your life? I already know the answer to that question is yes. We have become too close for me to destroy the great friendship I have/had.
You hear it all the time, that when any sort of relationship goes south, doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to, that you lose a friend in the process.. WHY? Why does it have to be that way? If that person really means something to you then once you get over the emotional turbulence, make an effort to keep them around and a part of your life. Because there is nothing worse than losing a great friend just because certain things didn’t work out. Who’s to say that it still can’t? It may just be the wrong time or you just happened to meet them way too early in life.
Make an effort to keep people around that you truly care about. You may be hurting now but in the long run, I’m sure it will be worth it; regardless if we cannot see it now, it’s worth it.